I need the Brooke Shields.

I have my father's eyebrows. They are thick, and they grow like weeds. On steroids. And, they are dark - darker than my natural blonde locks, and much darker than the bottle blonde my fabulous colorist gives me! Thanks Dad!

I learned long ago that I can not be trusted to take care of these beasts on my own. I get tweeze happy, and they turn out too thin...and lopsided. Sometimes, I look at old pictures, and I look like a cartoon character with one brow raised. Waxing for me does not mean a quickie at the nail salon, either! No, no - I need a professional!

Every four to five weeks, my sculptor comes from DFW to take care of these caterpillars above my eyes. The last time I saw her was February 6, and now I have been informed that she's pushing her visit back to April 3. That's two months! This is unheard of, people! Six weeks is usually my max, and then I want to do more than nix the strays at my desk in the morning.

I can not possibly wait another week. I need waxing. I need shaping. I need trimming and gelling and powdering. I need the Brooke Shields treatment - STAT!!!