Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The Three Deceivers - Parts III & IV

See 1/13/09 entry below for the first two essays on The Three Deceivers by Richard M. Eyre. Good stuff!

Part III - Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Today let’s talk about the second Deceiver of “Ownership” (see below) to read the introductory first article in this series which explains the nature of the three deceivers).

Ownership is a great principle of a free enterprise system, but on a personal level it can take over our lives and become an addiction.

Life seems to present itself to us in today’s world as a giant scoreboard where we are measured by what we own. We may work longer and harder than any people in the history of the world because we want more wealth, more possessions, and more ownership. And when we compare what we own to what others own (a form of judgment we seem to find irresistible) the outcome is either envy and jealousy or pride and condescension—both of which lead to unhappiness.

We need to think hard about the obsession we have with ownership. We need to ask ourselves what we really own. We pass through this life and we may obtain deeds and titles, but does anything really belong to us? Isn’t this the mentality of greed and debt that got us to where we are today in this economic meltdown?

Is there an alternative attitude that frees us from all the materialism and comparing?

There is! The alternative is an attitude and paradigm of Stewardship.

Ownership is a self-centering and ultimately false concept. Stewardship, defined as the understanding that God owns all and gives us the opportunity to care for and be responsible for certain things, is simply (and eternally) true. The concept contrasts dramatically with Ownership, and produces different results, and different kinds of motivation.

The paradigm of Ownership pits us against each other and fosters a negative kind of competition in which we are always comparing ourselves with others and wanting more and more. e.e. Cummings coined a clever phrase that explains the “more” mentality and hints at the effects of it. He said, “more, more, more, more…..what are we all becoming, morticians?”

The two ultimate and most predictable (and most damning) results of an ownership perspective are greed and pride. These are things we often do not recognize or acknowledge in ourselves. We can become like the man who said, “I’m not greedy, all I want is the land next to mine.”
Stewardship, on the other hand, implies that we are only taking card of what we have, for the true Owner. In this attitude, neither greed nor pride can flourish. A Stewardship paradigm brings with it a natural humility and gratitude that work as well for happiness as greed and pride work against it.

Another way to grasp the difference is to think of Ownership and Stewardship as the trunks of two trees, and to observe the limbs that grow on each.

On the tree with the Ownership trunk, there is a jealousy limb and an envy limb and a covetousness limb, because ownership is always comparing and competing, and it is easy to notice those who have more than we do. There is also a pride limb and a condescension limb, and a superiority limb because it is also easy to see those who have less than we do.

And there are selfishness limbs and frustration limbs and overly-ambitious limbs because we want to climb over others so we can look down on them instead of up at them. There are some good branches on the tree too of course—a responsibility branch because we are motivated to take care of things we feel ownership for. Even branches of charity and giving can sprout, but they are often choked out by the larger selfish limbs.

On the Stewardship trunk, a very different kind of branches tends to grow, such as large humility branches and limbs of gratitude because we acknowledge from whence all things come. Appreciation branches sprout for the beauty and opportunity and options that God gives us. Strong empathy limbs grow for the challenges of others. Limbs for prayer, and faith, and hope are inevitable, because they are known principles by which stewardships are honored. Branches of charity intertwine with limbs of love and sensitivity, because we know things are not ours in the first place, so it is much easier to share them with others.

Hard economic times are good times to re-define success. And the alternative attitude of Stewardship can help us to make our new definition both true and fulfilling.

Part IV - Thursday, January 15, 2009

One thing that Glenn said in our first interview was that the book The Three Deceivers initially “hacked him off” and made him want to defend the concepts of Control, Ownership, and Independence. Then, he said, after reading into it, he realized what obsessions these three deceivers can become and understood the problems they cause, and wanted to turn the book over and discover The Three Alternatives.

Glenn’s reaction is being repeated with almost everyone who reads the book. It is hard to “turn loose” of our desire to control everything, to covet more ownership, and to think we can stand alone and not need anyone else. But once we really look at ourselves, and at the greedy, competing, fractioned world we live in, it starts to become clear how addicted we can become to these Three Deceivers.

We have talked about the first two deceivers in the last two newsletters. The third deceiver, Independence, is such a revered concept that we have a holiday named for it. And we revere it. Of course it is a virtue to think for yourself, to be as financially independent as possible, and to try not to be a burden to others. But we carry it too far and try to need no one but ourselves, to stand alone, to be co-dependent no more.....these are the mottos of today.

Yet we continually find out how interdependent we are, how much we need other people and how dependent we are on God for all that we have, and for life itself.

The real problem with Independence is in the "I". Independence, at the lengths we often try to carry it, is the attitude of I. It’s about me and about what I can do on my own. Real life, the way God intended it to be lived is always about we, about us, about our interdependence, and about how all of us are brothers and sisters because we are all His children, and all equally and totally dependent on Him. The old, positive "can-do" attitude is a great place to start, but a better (and higher) place is a positive "can't-do" attitude that essentially says "Of myself, I am nothing, and can't do much of anything, but with the help of friends and family, and most of all with the guidance and assistance of God, I can do anything that is His will."

Coming up with a viable alternative to the attitude of Independence required the coining of a new word, and that word is SYNERGICITY. As you may recognize, it is a combination of two other words, "synergy" and "synchronicity".

Synergicity is the attitude and paradigm alternative to Independence. Instead of saying that we can stand alone, it says that we are completely dependent on God. Instead of implying that we don't need others, it suggests that we are all interdependent, and that people working together can accomplish much more than the total of what everyone could do individually. Instead of exclusive focus on individualism, it focuses on family, on friends, on communities, and on connecting everything to God. Instead of looking for ways to do better than others, it aims at ways of doing better with others. Instead of striving to do things in spite of the circumstances around us, it prompts us to do things within and in harmony with the "circumstances" around us. And instead of the goal of lifting ourselves by our bootstraps to the objectives we have set, it teaches us to let God lift us to the foreordinations He has given us. Synergicity is a lens through which we try to view the world with a little bigger perspective.....with everything interconnected, everything benefiting from everything else, and in one way or another depending on everything else.

It is interesting to compare the deceiver of Independence with the alternative of Synergicity. They can be compared on criteria of truth, of motivation, and of results:

Truth: Independence is not reality. As hard as we might try to convince ourselves that we are independent, we are actually completely dependent on God, even for every breath we take, and interdependent on so many people. Synergicity recognizes this, and turns it into a magnificent blessing.

Motivation: The self-centering notion of trying to do everything ourselves, to stand alone, to depend only on self, is a stubborn and defensive kind of motivation, likely to burn out and turn brittle. The motivation of synergicity reaches out, and has the excitement of lifting others as it lift us, and the adventure of trying to fit the pieces of God's puzzle together.

Results: Independence, doing things with only our own capacity and our narrow perspective, has the potential of only very limited results, and often negative results. Synergicity, and finding the connections God wants us to discover, makes our results part of His, and all limits are off.

No comments: